I would not.

I like calling people ‘Officer’ sarcastically. The problem is people at work always think it’s a come-on.

Because you are, in short, a ridiculous person. Mainly because somehow you poison the minds of all of my friends and seduce them over to your side. So I guess… props on that.

ADChi, stop wasting your fliers on me. I’m too Catholic to find Jesus.

This is what I think to myself smugly when attractive smart guys date attractive dumb girls. … It’s the small consolations.

All of my friends say Happy Bastille day to each other… This helped me realize what that says about us.

This was me in high school. … It’s me now, too, but it was also me in high school.

How I feel today. Seriously.

What I would say if I were on the receiving end of the phone calls Jess gets from her friends.

Sent to me by my friend Michael, for the anon.